Showing posts with label trauma (emotional). Show all posts
Showing posts with label trauma (emotional). Show all posts

Dialectical Behavior Therapy

Earlier, I discussed emotional control through the practice of Stoicism. This article about Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) goes deeper into the 'reflective' stage of that process. DBT is a type of psychotherapy that can help you to manage your psychosocial pain points; like situations over which you have no control,  common trauma response of reliving serious trauma, other post-trauma maladaptive responses, ongoing circumstantial vulnerability caused by complex trauma, etc.

Complex trauma often results from prolonged exposure to distressing events, leading to intricate psychological effects that can manifest as C-PTSD. Individuals may continue to experience symptoms such as flashbacks, emotional disregulation, and difficulties in relationships. In this context, the general public's impatient assertion that such people choose to cling to the past, to not "let go" can feel overwhelming or even invalidating, because it overlooks the depth of suffering involved. However, DBT is a more empathetic and solutions-oriented response to the suffering. The DBT approach does not imply forgetting or minimizing the impact of trauma. Rather, its compassionate take on the 'letting go' idea suggests a shift in how one relates to those experiences to foster resilience and healing. 


Interrelated Core Principles of DBT (dialectics, validation, radical acceptance) for resetting your perspective and coping:

  • Dialectics: DBT recognizes that two seemingly opposing ideas can be true at the same time. The following examples illustrate how dialectics can be applied to complex and challenging situations, allowing individuals to hold multiple perspectives and work toward integrating other perspectives to have an overall more balanced approach. This is key because focusing on the negative extreme is a human default. In fact, it is a defense mechanism to prepare oneself for potential danger. Unfortunately, it is easy to become polarized in difficult circumstances by being hyperfixated on negativity. However, dialectics is a form of de-polarization and balance (and reminiscent of the purpose of the hermetic principle of polarity; ie to become depolarized). Dialectics demands your cognitive agility. On that basis, I remember the 2 of Pentacles tarot card ... and even 5 of cups tarot card that encourages you to recognize that; while 3 cups have indeed spilt, if you turn around, you will see that 2 other cups remain un-spilt behind you and a bridge is also there to the other shore. In short, rather than see circumstances as 'either negative or positive', DBT encourages one to see challenges from the 'negative AND positive' angles. So rather than feel stuck in feeling vulnerable, you may find ways to pivot situations to say “While I am vulnerable in this situation (negativity), I am also strong (positive)” or “while I am capable of taking care of myself (masculine energy), I also need support (feminine energy).” While discussing emotional control through stoicism, I mentioned that, during a painful stoic 'pause', exploit your brain's neuroplasticity. In other words, train your mind to use dialectical reasoning to form new neuropathways. Here are some more examples.
    • Accepting a traumatic past while preparing for change in the future: 
      • A person with complex PTSD may need to acknowledge their traumatic experiences are a part of their history, while also working towards creating safer circumstances for a more hopeful future.
    • Embracing vulnerability while maintaining self-protection: 
      • Someone who has experienced trauma learns to be vulnerable and open with others (the right people), while also maintaining healthy boundaries and self-protection strategies to ensure their safety and well-being.
    • Acknowledging powerlessness while taking control: 
      • A person in an abusive situation acknowledges their powerlessness, while also taking control of their own actions and making decisions to prioritize their safety and well-being. This includes the empowerment that learning DBT and creating new neuropathways provides.
    • Practicing self-compassion while holding oneself accountable: 
      • Someone with a traumatic past is self-compassionate by acknowledging that maladaptive responses (like PTSD, anxiety disorders, dissociative disorders, cognitive distortions, social anxiety & awkwardness etc) are natural responses to their circumstances, while also learning better ways of responding to stressors.
      • A woman may feel overwhelmed and helpless due to a chronic illness. Erotical acceptance involves acknowledging the reality of her condition, accepting the limitations and challenges it brings, and focusing on her response and coping strategies, such as self-care and seeking support, rather than resisting or fighting against the illness.
    • Accepting the need for support while striving for independence: 
      • Someone accepts that they require meaningful support (like therapy or support groups), while also striving for independence and self-sufficiency (researching and shadow working on their own).
    • Recognizing the complexity of emotions while simplifying self-care: 
  • Validation: DBT emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and validating painful emotions and experiences. I must stress that if you are among those without support systems, like family, mental health professionals, police and or legal remedial services, prepare to do this for yourself.
    • A lady who has suffered trauma validates her emotions, such as anger or sadness, while also learning to counteract the distressing cognitive distortions that occur as a consequence.
  • Radical Acceptance    : Accepting reality as it is, not as you want it to be. You can neither change nor avoid the painful reality. This is a painful, hard pill type of skill that involves pulling the plug on hope of some resolution of undesirable situation. Example(s) of applications.
    • Toxic relationships. You now accept that your best efforts through overexplaining and overcompensating will NOT make a difference. These attempts never have in the past and never will. This is because the other party, abusers (whether narcissistic individuals or groups, their flying monkeys, and so on) will never stop the abuse. This is a no-holds-barred turning point of knowing that there is absolutely nothing more you can do or will try to resolve the situation. For instance, you will no longer live in hope that 'maybe after X happens, or if I just do X more, or accomplish X.' as it relates to relatives, professional colleagues, distinct social groups, and so on. Radical acceptance therefore means 1) grieving loss, often significant loss; such as hope of having a secure childhood, secure parent-child bond, meaningful friendship, marriage, acceptance in a community, working relationship, and fulfillment of dreams. Radical acceptance also means 2) you no longer hide in denial and are therefore consciously facing heavy emotions due to your loss.            Dr Ramani 'A painful look at narcissistic relationships. Radical acceptance' (above video)
    • Self-relationship. You now accept yourself fully, regardless of shortcomings, imaginary, real or set by society. This is a matter of unconditional self-love. Self-lovers see their 'imperfections' as elements of cherished uniqueness. In social circumstances, this involves not trading one's authenticity (which may simply be a difference from the social norms) to get approval from others. In other words, you are unapologietically yourself. Dr Femke Bakker used a fitting analogy of how loving parents would respond by encouraging their child who falters while learning to walk. Rather than be critical, shout at or condescend their child, they accept their child as she is in the present moment. They are patient, recognizing that their wish for a walking child will not happen overnight. This heart posture means they handle their child's daily struggle with empathy and compassion. Listen to her Ted Talk about 'self-gentleness (aka radical self-acceptance)', especially if you are driven to perfectionism in situations but are not performing perfectly. Since perfectionism is often a trauma response, the concept of self-gentleness is particularly important as you 'learn to walk' (thorny situations). Be patient with yourself. Example(s): being overwhelmed by simple tasks is not laziness but executive dysfunction; anxiety disorders is a symptom and not a reflection of your stupidity; open admittance of trauma response disorders that you had previously tried to hide through shame (by others); binging on your guilty pleasure is self-soothing / a search for a dopamine fix; neurodivergence is a symptom and not a reflection of your intelligence; etc. To be clear, this is not about being complacent with poor habits. Instead, it is a first step that can lead to positive change because openly acknowledging an issue is a way of bringing it to the forefront of your consciousness so that it can be resolved. Example(s): AA attendees usually openly introduce themselves as 'alcoholics' in group meetings in which they attempt a 12-step healing program.
    •   YouTube TEDx Talks video 'The power of self-gentleness | Femke Bakker | TEDxLeidenUniversity'
      YouTube short-form video by DoctorRue 'Radical self acceptance'
      YouTube short-form video 'Why you should practice radicatl self-acceptance'

How to apply DBT in your daily life 
Here are the 4 key components of any DBT practice. Since each component is customizable, own the design of your process so you can enjoy and remain committed.
  • Mindfulness: mindfulness practices emphasize the importance of being present and fully engaged in the present moment without judgment or distraction. Examples 
    • deep breathing, meditation (seated, guided, ecstatic dancing), progressive muscle relaxation, adult coloring books
    • Individuals with PTSD often experience flashbacks, which are intrusive memories that can feel as though they are reliving the traumatic event. Mindfulness skills can help you to stay grounded in the present moment. Examples. You can practice the “5-4-3-2-1 technique”. This requires you to focus on your 5 senses by identifying: 
      • 5 things they can see around them,
      • 4 things they can touch,
      • 3 things they can hear,
      • 2 things they can smell, and
      • 1 thing they can taste.
By focusing on these sensory experiences, you redirect your attention away from the flashback and back to their current moment, reducing the intensity of the trauma-related symptoms.

  • Distress tolerance skills. To describe this practice in short form; it is about accepting pain without unnecessary and additional suffering. This is achieved by using healthy distractions. These healthy destructions help you to select thought patterns that are better than ruminating and causing intense emotional suffering and to be clear healthy distractions are not the same as avoidance. Examples.
    • Self-talk in your head or allowed when triggered as by the news or when hearing about or from someone who caused you pain. 
      • I cannot change what has already happened. [Do not relive the painful moments trying to figure what you should have or could have said or done instead Develop some type of releasing, aka 'defusion', like imagining the memory as a black balloon that you release into the wind as you redirect your focus to something else, perhaps a white or colorful balloon with something specific .... Or you can focus intensely on the present moment.]
      • This moment is the outcome of multiple turns in the past do not agonize over 'what-if' scenarios like if you had just returned the call the night before, given x detail and so on.
      • Read about Mel Gibbon's What if it all works out mantra that frees her brain from focusing on only the worst, most catastrophic of multiple probabilities 
    • To cope with nightmares through Distress Tolerance Skills. self-soothing is a form of distress tolerance to cope with overwhelming emotions and situations without resorting to avoidance or harmful behaviors. This involves engaging in calming bedtime routine activities like:
      • taking a warm bath,
      • Listening to soothing music,
      • Practicing deep breathing exercises
      • Using aromatherapy
      • Declaring sleep time intentions 
    • In acute distress situations that might trigger dissociation, use these distress tolerance steps.
      • Step 1: Identify a distressing situation or feeling (e.g., feeling overwhelmed by memories).
      • Step 2: Use the “TIP” technique (Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing) to manage acute distress:
        • Temperature: Splash cold water on your face or hold ice cubes; this can help anchor you to reality.
        • Intense Exercise: Engage in physical activity like jumping jacks or running in place for a few minutes.
        • Paced Breathing: Practice slow, deep breathing like 'box breathing' to calm the nervous system.

  • Emotion Regulation Skills: Strategies such as identifying and labeling emotions, understanding emotional triggers, and using coping skills to manage emotions.
  • Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills: Techniques such as active listening, assertiveness, and boundary-setting to improve communication and relationships.
    • Assertiveness in interpersonal relationships might help you if you fear rejection or misunderstanding (that might arise from expressing your needs or feelings). Use “I” statements to express your needs and feelings (ie versus'you' statements). Example; Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” say, "I really need to be allowed to complete each idea without interruptions/ for someone to take action on XYZ / the direct communication I" or “I feel ignored when I share my thoughts but [describe the person's triggering behavior] like do not get any kind of response.” If the counter party is worthy, this approach is likely to be received as not blaming them.
    • Unapologetically set boundaries to prioritize your mental health while remaining being polite and respectful towards others. Example; say, “I appreciate the invitation, but I need some time for myself right now or I need time to think about that before committing or I needed the scores from your professional observations so I can keep track and really engage in my progress.” 
    • Assuming that the other person is worthy and has good intentions but does not yet understand how to meet your needs, say "If someone does x (like grab me suddenly), that makes me feel  unsafe because it triggers my anxiety.


Who Can Benefit from DBT:

  • People with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): DBT can help individuals manage symptoms of PTSD, such as flashbacks, nightmares, and avoidance behaviors.
  • Anyone seeking to improve emotional regulation and relationships: DBT can be beneficial for individuals looking to enhance their emotional intelligence, communication skills, and overall well-being.
  • Those struggling with emotional dysregulation: DBT can help individuals manage intense emotions, reduce self-destructive behaviors, and improve relationships.


CONTENT RELATED TO DIALECTICAL BEHAVIOR THERAPY


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Trauma & Stressor Related Disorders

Trauma and stressors are associated with events that are very harmful or at the very least; fear inducing. Trauma is the shaken state your mind experiences as a consequence. 

Humans and normal social life have in-built resilience to handle difficulty. However, challenging events can overwhelm us sometimes, especially if the usual means of resilience and protection from recurrences, etc are lacking in some way or other. In short, personal reactions to trauma-inducing events vary widely. While some people may emerge unscathed from challenges, others may develop serious trauma.

There are numerous symptoms, the most common of which include the following.
  • Anger
  • Sadness
  • Fearfulness
  • Shame 
  • Denial
  • Outbursts
  • Headaches
  • Changes in eating patterns
  • Digestive problems
  • Sleep interference

In short, severe situations may develop into a trauma & stressor disorder like the following.


CONTENT RELATED TO TRAUMA & STRESS DISORDERS

  • OTHER RELATED CONTENT
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Narcissism, Psycopathy & Sociopathy

The dark triad refers to a personality type that combines narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism. This article will only discuss the first two of these components. However, it clarifies the difference between the psychopathy and sociopathy and is therefore a prelude for the discussion on Machiavellianism.

Narcs are validation seeking, entitled, supercilious, grandiose and arrogant / condescending. Narcissism is a disorder of self esteem. When they do bad things, they are aware of their guilt and may think, "Wow, I should not have done that". However, they go out of their way to hide their wrong doing because they will feel enormous shame, a public emotion.

Conversely, unlike narcisissists who can feel guilt, psychopaths have neither guilt nor shame. While they recognize that people can get hurt, they simply do not care. Paid assassins, corporate / socio political economic hitmen, long term family wreckers and the like are psychopathic. They are likely to say and think, "I really do not give a shit who gets hurt." To be clear, they are often fully aware of how they are hurting others. They might be described as having 'dark empathy' in that they can skillfully read the vulnerabilities of others for the sake of exploiting them. For instance, they are often unscrupulous advertisers and salemen who are well aware that they are forcing others to overextend themselves. Ultimately, psychopaths view the world as instruments to be used for the fulfilment of their personal desires. They are more likely to engage in criminality than narcissists because they are less worried about the consequences of criminal activity. Psychopaths do not suffer the same self esteem deficit that requires constant validation. 

The difference between the psychopath and sociopath is that while the psychopath is born, the sociopath is made.

Psychopaths are said to have a non-normal autonomic / sympathetic system. That system is responsible for fight or flight responses at the knowledge of one's having broken rules, done something embarrassing and so on. For normal people, the fear response (to the consequences) manifests itself with a racing heart beat, sweating and so on. A psychopath however does not have a reaction. In fact, this is the reason psychopaths are able to pass lie detection tests. She or he can handle situations that will commonly stress normal individuals, like being confronted by authority figures and so on.

Psychopathy is also called 'antisocial personality disorder'. In order to get such a diagnosis, there must be a discernible pattern of behaviors of complete disregard for rules and lack of care before the age of 15. For instance, children demonstrating this tendency will have engaged in activities without feeling remorse like harming other children for no reason other than pleasure, stealing, arson and so on.

Sociopaths learn to become like a psychopath for survival. They often came from a very rough background, neighborhood, parents who taught them to break rules, persons trained in unscrupulous businesses, persons trained in the military, etc. They usually have trouble with the behavior at first. However, overtime, their nervous system becomes trained to become de-sensitized and less triggered by ordinarily stressful events. Such individuals may be described as having been really normal earlier in life but having changed at some point after certain type of exposure to 'deviant friends' etc.


CONTENT RELATED TO NARCISSISM, PSYCHOPATHY & SOCIOPATHY

All psychopaths are narcissists but NOT all narcisissts are psychopaths.

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Executive Function Disorder (EFD) & Strategies

 
Sometimes, someone may speak of being unable to function well. Common examples include the inability to: pay attention; remember & manipulate new information & sensory input; stay on task & ignore distractions; multitask and ;regulate emotions. An onlooker may likely call this 'laziness'. While 'laziness' may relate to an unwillingness to function, a key aspect of this state of disfunction is that sufferers do not want to be dysfunctional; to not stay on task, to not focus and so on. The state is therefore one of great turmoil.


Unlike some of the other disorders that I have already discussed, EFD is not an official condition listed in the DSM-5. Consequently, mental health professionals will not diagnose EFDs specifically on the basis of a set of criteria. Rather, they will recognize its poor function and simply provide help for managing the associated issues or perceived cause(s). For this reason, it may be useful to think of EFD as being similar to a symptom (of other disorders listed below) rather than a condition on its own. If you wish to get some type of measurement, you can use special scales like the Barkley scale.

Executive Function Explained
Executive Function is an umbrella term. It refers to a group of interconnected processes in the brain. Together, they form a coordinating system. (Deborah Philips from Georgetown University refers to it as the 'air traffic control of the brain' that manages many 'planes' (or dynamic life variables) with perfect precision in order to avert disaster. It allows an individual to plan, remember instructions, juggle tasks and prioritize tasks to successfully complete everything that requires action during the day or life. Together they allow someone to set and complete goals. The 3 main components of executive function are as follows.
  1. Working Memory involves processing information and managing many details in mind (so that they can be put into use). Good executive function allows us to best use our intelligence. (BTW, its function is not intrinsically related to levels of intelligence). 
  2. Cognitive Flexibility (aka flexible thinking) refers to the ability to learn and adapt quickly (to unfamiliar or unplanned changes in the environment). When functioning well, one can not only switch to new vantage points from which to perceive problems but can also figure when and how to quickly shift between problem-solving strategies or mindsets.
  3. Inhibitory Control (including emotional / self control) refers to the ability to concentrate and regulate emotions. It is particularly noteworthy during stressful situations and essential for changing (childhood) habits. If working well, it restrains someone from reacting on impulse in a way that may be deemed (socially) inappropriate.

Executive Functions Disorder (EFD) aka Executive DysFunction Examples
EFD occurs when executive function does not occur optimally. The experience is highly personal with signs and symptoms varying considerably. 
  • Working memory (including organization): This involves the inability to keep details in mind so that they can be put into use. Examples include the following.
    • Challenges holding information in mind so that it can be used later. This is particularly the case if the information is provided in disjointed bits and needs to be held in suspension and then processed along the way before a task can be completed. 
    • Challenges following complex thoughts.
    • Challenges remembering to complete tasks.
    • Challenges keeping track of what needs to be done and organizing the day to ensure that everything is done by the required time. 
      • This also includes challenges procrastination as initiating a (potentially complex) project can feel overwhelming.
      • Planning tasks, especially complex ones with many steps, like planning a wedding can be particularly overwhelming for someone with an executive dysfunction.
    • Challenge organizing materials in a way that allows the individual to retrieve them subsequently when needed.
    • Challenges with reading comprehension in which the individual can not remember earlier parts of the content. 
    • Challenges memorizing and repeating (long) phrases, telephone numbers, etc.
  • Cognitive flexibility. This involves the inability to see problems from different angels and find solutions. The individual can become stuck without a solution. Example(s).
    • Challenges being able to shift the approach to competing a task if some aspect of the project changes midway. In this case, the individual is likely to love schedules and to-do lists that are agreed upon in advance and can be honored precisely. Others, especially those who are not very disorganized are likely to consider such individuals too stubborn & inflexible, anal-retentive and or having tunnel vision.
    • Difficulty shifting language and presentation styles when addressing different audiences. This may be evident when relaying information from a source that is different to the individual's audience.
    • Difficulty switching from rigid techniques taught to creating new ones for unique situations.
    • Not surprisingly, compromised executive function relates to learning disabilities. I imagine that processing many new details can become difficult.
  • Inhibitory control (including self control). Self control refers to the ability to restrain oneself before reacting immediately on impulse. Example(s).
    • Suffering Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) / Complex post traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) and I think dissociative disorders indicates lack of inhibitory control.
    • I think another example is the lack of discipline that results in reliance on vices to manage stressful situations. Examples include addictions to food, alcohol, drugs and so on. Someone with greater executive function would be better able to resist excessive eating, drinking and so on.
    • I also think nervous tics belong here because they suggest psychomotor agitation 
    • Challenges resisting the urge to consume food that is detrimental to one's health, especially when emotionally distressed.
    • Challenges of reacting without restraint (rather than rely on the rational mind to respond). Examples include acting with premature anger or other such instincts when being bullied.
    • Challenges remaining dedicated to a single task, especially one that is neither urgent nor a passion. Consequently, such a person will become easily distracted and can easily end up with multiple tasks left partially done, especially complex tasks. Such an individual may be considered air headed. 
    • Challenges controlling the urge to connect with other people in unsuitable ways like prematurely sharing very personal information strangers or 'friending' the profile of strangers after very pleasant conversations. This is likely to occur for someone that lacks sufficient support systems
    • Anxiety with public speaking.

Causes of Executive Function Disorder

Understanding this disorder is still under develop. However, related to executive function disorder are several factors that include the following. 
  • Depression
  • anxiety disorders
  • obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
  • chronic stress
  • autoimmune conditions
  • Alzheimer's disease
  • poor nutrition
  • poor sleep patterns
  • lack of exposure to language
  • low quality of caregiving
  • stroke
  • learning disabilities. Children who have EFD often have at least one parent who also suffers from it. Although there is a correlation between ADHD and EFD, persons who are not diagnosed with ADHD may also suffer from EFD. 
  • Inhibitory Control. Example(s)
    • After a traumatic event, the brain reacts rapidly when triggered by a subsequent event that is similar. The brain reacts as if re-experiencing the initial trauma with the same physiological reactions. Examples include panic attacks when triggered by an event that is reminiscent of an earlier trauma. Parallels to the panic attack include muscle tightness, shallow breathing, over-eating, anger even fawning in relationships and psychosomatic illness (like dysfunction of the liver, kidneys or aggravation of a physical weakness). In short, the brain of a traumatized individual goes into a mode of fight, flight, freeze or fawn as a means of survival against a (perceived) threat. The rational mind is unable to function because he amygdala (the part of the brain that responses with fight and flight for instance) is engaged fully.

Strategies for managing challenges with executive dysfunction

As mentioned above, individuals experience executive function disorder differently. Consequently, it ideal to establish the area(s) of weakness beforehand to respond with the most suitable strategies. 
  • Working Memory (re receiving information). 
    • Pause and reflect at intervals rather than attempt to absorb all of the content at once.
    • Put things in writing or request written instructions.
    • Use a recorder (audio or video)
  • Working Memory (re execution / organization). 
    • Carefully breakdown large tasks into smaller ones, along with due dates. Avoid overwhelming yourself by allowing yourself to see only the current list of small tasks.
    • Organize your work and play spaces apart. For instance, resist the temptation of doing hobbies in spaces that are best suited for working. This helps the brain to settle into gear better and to avoid distractions.
    • For speaking, write outlines with bullet points.
  • Inhibitory Control
    • Practice emotional regulation techniques when you are not in the height of an emotionally de-regulated state. This involves reducing the level of emotional and physiological arousal, thereby allowing the brain to allow the rational mind to function in the face of the trigger. 
      • Sit or stand in a dominant way. Allow yourself to think about the trauma and the physiological reactions. Breath slowing in and out, counting equally for inhaling, holding and exhaling. This requires practice in order to work  
    • Use planners, to-do lists (on the phone, a whiteboard or through other means that are very accessible throughout the day), organizers and alarms on the phone or computer. If organization skills must involve receiving information from others, consider using automatic surveys and other electronic applications.
    • Consume learning material about current challenges and solutions that provide new perspectives and behavioral strategic responses.
  • Cognitive Flexibility
    • Do activities that improve neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity helps trauma survivors of all types to learn new ways of experiencing or doing things after the trauma. The brain forms and reorganizes synaptic (ie nerve) connections in the re-learning process. If the new connections are practiced repeatedly, they strengthen to create the new pathway that the brain learns to do the task. This can be achieved at any age, with faster progress among younger people. The key is to focus attention on new experiences. Examples include
      • Break routines with exposure to new experiences. Take new routes to a single destination, eat different foods, do different physical exercises to remain mindful throughout each new experience, ie rather than slip into the rut of dissociative states.
      • Enhance gut health as a means of regulating serotonin and gaba levels. These in turn improve cognitive flexibility. Useful items include probiotics, prebiotic, 5-hydroxytryptophan (5-htp), B12 and folate (NOT the same as folic acid) and foods high in folates and B12 like chickpeas and beets. 
      • Frequently practice meditation, proper sleep, relaxation and breath work to calm the nervous system. (This even helps to improve the immune system). Do these things until they become new habits.
    • Engage in activities that encourage switching gears. Examples include 
      • playing games that encourage quick strategic decision-making like football, netball and so on.
      • looking for other perspective of dual-perspective images.
      • Learn about topics from different schools of thought.
      • Teach multiple approaches or strategies from which individuals can select a solution for a single problem. 
  • Physical brain health
    • Improve your brain oxygenation levels. This might involve first testing your levels through techniques like Quantum Magnetic Resonance (often by a naturopath in natural health establishments). I find it particularly useful if the examiner can tell you your specific score and the ideal range, along with treatments (like high potency ginkgo biloba, magnesium), brain foods (like beetroots) and practices (like restfulness, meditation, etc).


CONTENT RELATED TO EXECUTIVE FUNCTION DISORDER
Challenges with executive function is one clue that helps in recognizing neurodivergence, especially for boomers and generation Xers. 
  • Nervous system dysregulation. In addition to this YouTube short explainer video, see more details and examples. 

     
  • Adults can be evaluated too. Get evaluated (for 'learning and thinking differences') by any of the following. 
    • psychologist
    • psychiatrist
    • advanced practice registered nurse with additional training n ADHD
    • learning behavior specialist
    • Mental health agencies or counseling
    • study skills center at a university or hospital-based program
    • clinics that conduct evaluations within 'special education' programs at universities. This can be a lower cost option.
    • Adult education office may provide practitioners and their costs, including those that are lower cost options.
    • Learning disability associations (LDAs) in the US
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Are You a Civilian Manchurian Candidate? Take Control of Your Mind!

These thoughts have haunted me for too long. Furthermore, I felt worse because I could never find the 'right' time to share them. So although now seems to be imperfect timing, I'll just take the plunge anyway. You see, the pain I feel seems to deepen through daily life and the silence I maintain. This pain is not due merely to my individual experiences of abuse, rape, torture, defamation, forced silence and the like. Rather, although most of you probably feel you can not relate to someone like me, you know, the type many of you call a "weirdo" because of my anxiety issues like chronic c-PTSD, OCD and so on, I still see so much of myself in you, ie you the public (who see yourselves as non weirdos).
-- --
Let me explain. Your likely resistance to my last statement is somewhat justified in that, in a way, a non weirdo seems completely fine while weirdos stand out. Even as otherwise strangers, weirdos spot each other amidst a crowd. This is truest for those of us who are finally self-aware (regarding our circumstances). For instance, it took only 1 hour after a first face-to-face meeting with a man and settling into his home for a one week stay as a house guest before we knew it was safe to share our 'secrets' with each other. He is 60-something and says he was one of the earliest subjects of MK Ultra mind control experimentation on children. That conversation in his living room was his tearful exorcism of sorts. He also spoke of working for the CIA and being trained in various mental exercises. During my stay in his semi-isolated home in the mountains (outside the US), he allowed me to really see him. I now feel sufficiently qualified to pronounce him a broken man who dwells in the pits of hell. Mind you however, unlike me, he does not show overt signs of anxiety. His pain is even more of a 'secret' to those who only see an inexplicable social dropout or a non weirdo who frequently drinks, smokes pot, obsesses over sex and swears a lot. Just from my current travels of nearly 3 months, I could speak of 2 other similar cases but I think his will suffice.
Bear with me as I deviate initially towards the differences between the weirdos and those of you who consider yourselves non weirdos. This is necessary as the differences create the context from which the parallel will hopefully become more apparent.

 A key difference is that a weirdo's situation occurs in a way that is far more striking. Specifically, the weirdo's circumstances are individual and the consequences manifest so rapidly and poignantly within our individual lifetimes. This is the case to the extent that even a few non weirdos, who are astute or specifically trained, can detect the neuroses and less subtle tics we weirdos try to hide.

Some of the trauma I experienced sent me to very dark places, especially early childhood trauma. That trauma either started or pronounced phenomena I have only recently begun to read about and learn words for. Some examples include altered states of consciousness, seeing (what is apparently either impossible or hard for most other people to see), out of body experiences (OBE) and physical and emotional empathy. While new age and intuitive non weirdos refer to some of these phenomena as "spiritual" and even "psychic", conventional psychology practitioners refer to the same phenomena as "mental illness", "unexplained phenomena" or "a manifestation of your belief system" (a possible euphemism for 'we think you're making that up'). In fact, some non weirdos, especially new agers, are so enchanted by these phenomena, they eagerly seek after what I had previously considered my shameful werido phenomena. BTW, many people have positive experiences of these phenomena without trauma. So, to be clear, I am referring to situations in which these phenomena are trauma-based and unpleasant.

The difference between the general public of non-weirdos and weirdos that highlights our similarity is the fact that your trauma and its effect are far more insidious. For instance, instead of occurring at the individual level (like a personal mental breakdown following the MK Ultra program), your type of trauma and its effects occur across entire groups at once. This collective experience is therefore easily woven into 'normal' life without question. Furthermore, the collective trauma is not as poignant and its effect not as rapid as with individuals. Instead, it is slow, insidious and deep. I liken the case of what I call the collective experience of trauma to that of the proverbial frog that remains calm in water over a gentle heat.

To clarify, had the water been scorching hot from the beginning, that frog would have more readily recognized the harm caused to its body, much like the trauma suffered by the weirdo.

The basis for my sadness is two-fold. If non weirdos are likened to the frog, they are unlikely to save themselves since they will remain unaware of the gradual harm they suffer. Also, I see my experiences playing out in slow motion with you. I confess; sometimes, I would rather selfishly ignore you and your pain, because I think you (the collective you) remained stoic, silent and inactive when I needed your help. However and fortunately or unfortunately, I am still making baby steps to do that at will. Needless to say, I feel duty bound to speak and tell you what I see.

Allow me to digress to better make my point. Last night (19th June), I was approached by one of the main cast members of a popular series named Game of Thorns (along with his teenage son). We were spending time at a beach bar in a tiny and quiet tourist town. Since I have not watched television for several years, I realized his fame only by chance when we eventually broached the topic of his profession in our conversation.

There have been some points in my life when I tasted the sense of self actualization and its consequent sense of personal power, hopefulness and joy. Watch and you will see it in anyone on top of his game! It is a happy state that sharpens your senses, whit and intelligence. That! That is heaven! It enlivens you, even if outwardly expressed with a quiet je ne sais quoi. With envy, I recognized my erstwhile state in him ... and his son. Anyway, I now cringe at my naiveté in doing an unthinkable thing; I asked him about the inner workings of production in his industry, as it relates to the endless inclusion of ritualistic symbolism. As before, he responded quickly ... but way off point. Within seconds, he had deflected the course of the conversation to how powerful and scientifically calculating advertisements were. He spoke of how they hypnotize and profoundly influence people's psyches. (I salute myself for having not forced the issue.)

When I returned to my room at the end of the night, I satisfied my curiosity about the Game of Thorns on Youtube. Sure enough, there he was, the man with whom I had just spent 5 hours. A Youtuber had uploaded a video of the sacrificial ritual of a child (Shireen Baratheon). The parents agreed to it. They justified it in their minds; their child's sacrifice was to save others from starving. People watched. Most spectators were men that looked like robotized soldiers. They simply stared at the proceedings with an empty, stoic look. No one responded to her screams for help. When the mother eventually assumed a caring role, as if suddenly awakened from a spell (of justification), the men subdued her, pushing her to the ground. Perhaps this is not surprising as the Game of Thrones actor had said that the social order placed women at a lower level than men. (It turns out the mother is a queen). However, he also said that Game of Thorns "empowered" women because they found often deceitful ways of getting their way. The only other woman on the scene was cold and without care. Ironically, she officiated the ceremony. Against the backdrop of the child's high pitched screams, the lighting on the spectators changed drastically to highlight the colour of the clothing of only the second woman. She wore a purple robe. Everyone else turned to a pale black and white. I will not pretend to understand the scene fully. However, it resembles the now infamous 'Cremation of Care' ritual. (In this context, 'care' may be understood in terms of what Mark Passio refers to as the 8th or generative hermetic principle after the 7 discussed in the Kybalion. In a nutshell, 'care' deals with the focus, conscious or subconscious of one's mental energies. From my limited understanding of ritual magick, purple combines the energies of the red projective masculinity of the conscious mind and blue receptive maternal femininity of the subconscious mind. I've often heard that we are now in the age of the divine feminine mother. However, this second woman seems to represent the debasement of that. When magick carries distorted intentions, purple apparently has a tyrannical influence. So perhaps the scene symbolizes that this woman's lack of care had triumphed over the whole mind. (Happy for your thoughts).

Within milliseconds, each advancing frame sucked me back through several painful points of my life. At the instant of realization of her betrayal and impending death, I saw her story but was jolted back to the harsh aloneness I knew at 9. I tell you; a father can sacrifice his child and ignore  her calls of distress. Although I now understand his need to safeguard his wealth and social standing and the real challenges he faced, aloneness still haunts me. ... I see the fire being lit at her feet and ... my eyes sting. He could never have truly loved me! Un-loveable am I! He watched his wife starve me, his then 9-year old child, in their upper middle class home. He sat by silently as she repeatedly played mental games that I later learnt are used to break inmates in prisons and concentration camps. He even participated in trying to thwart my progress and break my sense of ambition. ... The girl screamed in pain for being unanswered. ... What was he thinking when she inserted a suppository into my vagina to prematurely force me to bleed shortly after my 10th birthday? ... Where was his mind as the girl screamed through her painful death? ... I was dying inside. He only demanded that I stop that "nonsense" meaning my nervous tics because I was "embarrassing" him ... I know this kind of television is unsafe for me but the changing frames have already sucked me in a stupor. The scenes suck me deeper, whirling me in a giddy stupor and throwing me about into entirely new directions towards a series of painful memories. When I almost drowned at 19 in a whirlpool, he was present but did and said nothing. ... Her screams were shrilling and her father just watched ... and I slip a little further into that dark place. It is oddly comfortable but only because it is a very familiar place. Reaching that point of utter helplessness and knowing I was about to die was so familiar. I knew at once that I had nearly died before but could not remember the finer details - because no one ever mentioned them. ... The girl's mother appeared. ... I would subsequently learn that, when I was a baby, my natural mother had apparently banged me about nearly to the point of death (and he knew). That day, I suddenly realized that there was at least some truth to my father's saying that my natural mother "tried to kill" me. The unexplained kinks in my spine and ongoing effect on my structure finally made sense. His general lack of concern when not under public scrutiny also made sense. It was consistent with the fact that neither he nor his mother appeared to have done anything in my defense. Other people's apathy and unwillingness to help cut like a knife. Them too?! Who do I have then? Un-loveable am I! I doubt anyone ever reached out to my father in a direct way that he would understand.

You might think; But that is just your weirdo stuff. I assure you, it is not. Be patient! I hope you will learn to use my more poignant weirdo circumstances to see how trauma can hurt you. During our time together, the Game of Thrones actor scribbled his video recommendation on a napkin. It featured people's emotional reactions while looking at Game of Thorns. I later found another Youtube video showcasing people's reactions to that same Game of Thorns child sacrifice of Shireen Baratheon. People featured in the video are so emotionally hijacked by the scene that their panic-stricken expressions, screams and tears make me see that even they experienced trauma at some level. BTW, I doubt the featured people are all weirdos. The effect of these videos was cumulative. I found that watching the reactions of these strangers was a stronger tear jerker than the original Game of Thorns scene. In fact, at one point, a dog had become so distressed at his family's emotional reaction (to the film) that (s)he began to comfort the lady. As I write this, I question the sick addiction that allowed me to remain sucked in, to keep watching despite the obvious pain. I know those non-weirdos have that issue too. They kept watching too.

A counsellor's cautionary advice comes to mind. Stimuli (in violent movies and the news) can easily hypnotize and traumatize viewers. The problem with this is that  the constant bombardment of these psychological stimuli continually re-traumatizes people without giving their psyche enough time to heal naturally over time.

Furthermore, the point of all the trauma-based research and experimentation has been mind control of ordinary people. Research has long shown that trauma is a gateway, whether it is like Willie Lynch's method of "making a slave" (ie 1800s social eugenics experimentation in Barbados to create mental slaves of black people), MK Ultra (ie a CIA-sponsored program of traumatization and mental slavery of North Americans), movies, extreme child abuse by family and so on. My ex MK Ultra / CIA host made it clearer to me that CIA hit men and other kinds of operatives are real, and not merely cinematic creations as many people seem to believe.

Another point of my sadness is that even when people recognize the reality of these phenomena in CIA programs, movies and so on, they do not recognize how these things are also part of even their personal daily life. Anyone of us is a potential operative, much like how any regular Joe in the unaware society; policemen, teachers, children on a playground and so on can be taken over by Agent Smith in the Matrix movie. Although they still look like a policemen, your teacher and so on, they can momentarily act on Mr Smith's behalf, as an agent of the matrix. Some people would call this the matrix of the 'Illuminati'. My wish however is that we question our reactions, thoughts and impulses to recognize this in ourselves. I think we will see that the so-called Illuminati does not stop at the hands of big-wig masons but that it lays within us as a potential switch that can be turned on at anytime, if we remain unaware of it. We are all potential super soldiers even without firearms or 'civilian super soldiers' as I call it..

I believe that carefully engineered and institutionalized racism (as seen in Lynch's speech) has been only one of several experiments from which the wise person from any background should learn. Unfortunately however, humans care almost only when they eventually see that their personal lives are adversely affected. For instance, some years ago, Alex Jones cautioned white America to 'wake up and realize that the target is no longer only darker skinned people'. Before that point, not too many people were paying attention.

A wise person would recognize the highly polarizing tactics that strengthens mental (and other forms of) slavery of all of us. If you took advantage of privileges that mainstream grants you because you are in its favour (because of socioeconomics, ethnicity, nationality and so on), you are an unwitting 'house slave' kind of agent for the matrix. That hierarchy of which you are a VIP also fits within another larger one. I have seen too much of this when dealing with masons and one of the world's most powerful multibillion dollar corporations. Since each matrix exists inside a larger matrix, it is only a matter of time before the shit comes right back to you. I promise! I will illustrate that a little later.

You are all being played like pawns against each other. More recently, the media has switched gears. It is not simply encouraging one group to scorn another but for both groups to fight against each other. I highly recommend Frater Xavier's Youtube video. It not only illustrates how neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is used to subliminally influence your mind but, more importantly, how you can prevent this influence and  'take control of your mind'. I welcome your suggestions of other well presented material in the comments section below.

Consider that, unlike my ex MK Ultra / CIA host, I was never formally part of any program (as far as I know). I do not know enough of my stepmother's background except that she once bragged to me about how good she was at psychology and getting people to do what she wanted. She might have simply read about and applied these techniques. Anyone with sufficiently strong intention could do that. On that basis, I ask you, the non-weirdo public to recognize your susceptibility to the powers of trauma and mind control by people far more knowledgeable than my stepmother, mother, father or the wealthy corporation. You do not have to be formally enrolled in an MK Ultra program to be traumatized and fixed with triggers.

In closing, I will voice my final 3 wishes:

1.  I wish that publishers (Youtubers, bloggers and the like) who understand how, will 'fight back with positive NLP' and other similar mental conditioning techniques.

2.  I wish that you, the reader (and I) will curb the usual feelings of resentment towards my natural father (or people like him). That hasty resentment is too polarizing. It will only force us to dwell narrowly on an extreme perspective without seeing the bigger picture. Do not get me wrong. I am not happy with his choices regarding me. He was neglectful and abusive. But I know he sacrificed me to avoid further ill treatment and very real pain. 
 3.  I wish that you, the reader (and I) will curb resentment towards people who seem to have privilege in a matrix. Also, I wish that those people of 'privilege' within a matrix 'fight the temptation to be (Illuminati) agents / civilian super soldiers'. Let's consider my birth and step mothers. Although they were privileged with relatively high socioeconomic status because of their 'more desirable' physical appearances, these things trapped them too. Unfortunately, their trap was not easily recognizable. It made them feel comfortable, like our proverbial frog in the slow heat. They felt a need to maintain their socioeconomic status at any cost. Unfortunately, that cost was high; they spent their entire adult lives prostituting themselves in love-less marriages. They were entrapped to the extent that each woman married and then re-married the same man. For instance, in each case of both these women's multiple marriages, the husband had become very financially successful despite earlier life socioeconomic hardships. No amount of worship by their husbands could quell the scorn these trophy wives felt. These women continued to overtly scorn their husbands' humble beginnings. How many times both taunted my father for having had a mother who was "only a maid". These reminders were retorts in the smallest and completely unrelated disagreements. (They certainly never demanded their husbands stop their subservient facilitation with the proud statements that "she has a very high status"). Consequently, the love and friendship I have seen in marriages between equals was always lacking. Their lives were reduced to keeping up appearances. So in need for continued god-like adoration, it is likely that these women were incapable of marrying men who they truly admired, ie men who they may have considered to be equals. Both used their children as pawns in their game without allowing themselves the gift of love. Similarly, my ex MK Ultra / CIA host may well appear like a demigod in the 'third world country' where he lives. One day, he told me that he 'had to tell one of the gardeners not to think but only follow instructions because the gardener was so dumb that things fell apart whenever he thought, you know, like all the other uneducated people around there.' I imagine the gardeners and other local people would never guess that he lives among them because he is running from abuse from others to whom he also is only a slave. Do you see how he does not belong only in the 'privileged' group but also the group I mentioned in wish number 2? It is unfortunate that when he has the power to change the status quo, he placed himself at the other polar extreme. My dream involves recognizing that matrices can be collapsed with the realization of these wishes.

Take  Control!
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